After 25 years of ministry as missionaries in Japan, my wife and are heading home. We have had 25 great years in Japan, and it has been a fulfilling ministry. 25 years is not as long as some missionaries stay on the field, but I was 39 when I arrived. It is HARD learning a difficult language like Japanese at middle age!

My wife and I had some ups and downs in the ministry here, but the downs were teaching experiences, as most people will say. Only for us, God took us in a way that our organization was headed before our organization headed in this direction. We learned beforehand how powerful the Holy Spirit is at teaching new believers, without the constant oversight of missionaries or pastors at the beginning. And lots of people (churches) did not like things that involved change from the ordinary, but we persevered with joy in our hearts.

Japan is listed in some circles as being basically “unresponsive” to the gospel – with approximately 1/2 of 1% as being believers. Evangelical missionaries and organizations have been in this country over 150 years.

We have not used conventional means, and going back 15 years, we found that the Japanese were, and are, capable of expanding the gospel among themselves. We have seen three different groups that we started expand into four and five generations of Christians, as in the 2 Timothy 2:2 principle. And one of the groups were among homeless — led by one that we were blessed to train. Part of our vision was that of viewing God’s greatest resources — not the missionary, or church support monies, or pastors, but the individual believers that God led to us. (A church’s greatest resource is not the pastor, not the money, not the building but the people in the pew. Use them, equip them, give them vision, send them out!)

We are leaving behind both nationals and GCCs who have found that they can witness, they can equip, they can train and they can have and lead bible studies and messages, as well as baptize. It doesn’t have to depend on the missionary or pastor to expand the Kingdom. We also have worked with a few missionaries who don’t mind stepping out of the box and trying something different. The one key that we find is that a person must have vision, passion and focus to expand the Kingdom. If you have those, people will want what you have.

I visited and talked with a young missionary two weeks ago who lives about two hours from me. He was disappointed in most missionaries and pastors who come to accept slow response in Japan as a matter of fact. I left him (and also my fellow workers) with these words: Don’t let the unresponsiveness determine your joy, passion or vision. Let your passion, vision and joy come from Jesus. When you do this, others will notice! The vast majority of the work that we have done, and the people that we have worked with and partnered with — came from people seeking us out by email, phone calls, coming to our house or where we happened to be going. When the joy of the Lord is your strength, people will notice. When your passion and vision are determined by Who you know, and not the circumstances you are in, people will notice . . . as was with Paul!

We have had a great time; we have seen many baptized, and we have seen many nationals equipped and prepared to advance the Kingdom. While we have been VERY joyful of those that we led to the Lord, the greatest joy has come from seeing them witness, train and equip those that they led to the Lord, and then they did the same, and so on. I once heard a sermon that had this in the message: The greatest success a parent can have is to raise their children to love someone else more than they (the children) love the parents. When your child loves his/her spouse as the most important person (over the parents) then the parents have been successful. My wife and I are not expecting new believers to look back at us, but out into the harvest and advance the Kingdom. That is the reward for us! That is what we are seeing. It is not a huge force yet, but is quite significant.

“Behold, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, who by night stand in the house of the Lord! Lift up your hands in the sanctuary, and bless the Lord. The Lord who made heaven and earth bless you from Zion!” (Psalm 134, NKJV)

There is a command and a promise here, and we can examine it using the “Five W’s” of standard journalism. The who is the servants of the Lord, people who serve and love God. The what is to bless the Lord, to worship and lift Him up. The when is at night. The where is in the sanctuary, in the house of the Lord (the church). The why is also to bless the Lord (this is both the what and the why — we bless the Lord and worship Him as an act and also as a reason). The how is by lifting up your hands.

And the reward? That the Lord who made Heaven and Earth would bless you (you, who keep His commandments to bless God, at night, in His house, by lifting holy hands and standing in the sanctuary). Think about it! For those who love God, this is not a hard command to keep. It really isn’t. And the benefit, the blessing of God for those who are faithful? Priceless!

If we honor the God who sent His Son to save and redeem us, and we honor the sacrifice Jesus made for us, then going to church at night is no chore. We should be more than eager to spend time with our brothers and sisters in Christ, raising our voices and our hands in one accord, pouring out blessing and honor and glory to Jesus Christ, who loved us enough to die for our sins and paved the way for right relationship with Father God.

It is not our duty to go to church twice on Sunday. It is our privilege! When do we start to realize this and live our lives according to that truth? It isn’t a chore, it’s an honor!

This song is called “From the Inside Out” by Hillsong United and can be found on the United We Stand album (I have it from the iWorship 24/7 album, which is a compilation of some really great worship songs).

If you were like me and fed the mood, try breaking through with worship. Guaranteed it works. Lose yourself in worshipping God. You might as well get used to it now… if you are a Christian, this is what we’ll be doing for eternity. Get some practice in!

From the Inside Out – Hillsong United

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I’m caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out

My Soul cries out to You
My Soul cries out to You
to You, to You

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out.

“Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice: ‘Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!’ And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying: ‘Blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him who sites on the throne, and to the Lamb forever and ever!’” (Rev 5:12, NKJV)

Can you imagine the glory, the praise, the continual worship, the adoration and love and gratitude and blessing poured upon Almighty God and His Son Jesus Christ, in heaven? I can’t. This world is such a shadow, such a dim thing compared to what eternity will be like. And even here on earth, with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and the absolute abandonment and joy we can receive when we worship our Lord Jesus in spirit and truth, that anointing and blessing that comes from God the Father… I honestly believe it pales in comparison to what heaven will be like, despite how absolutely beautiful and fantastic it is.

Last night at church, as we were worshipping, I felt such an impression of “worthy, worthy, worthy”… it was so heavy, like it had weight, an importance behind it. It bubbled out of me like a desperate cry… God, You are so infinitely worthy! Worthy of my love, my time, my attention, my energy, my hopes, my dreams. You are worth more than I could possibly ever offer You!

And after such a wonderful encounter with God, and an awesome message, the reality hit me.

If He is so worthy (and He is) why aren’t we giving Him our best?

I mean, we sing songs about how worthy He is, how He sent His Son to die for us, how we owe Him everything. We sing songs about living lives pure and holy before Him, about inviting Him in, about becoming living sacrifices. And yeah, singing those songs are great and there can be a real heartfelt passion there, but… if He is so worthy, why aren’t we giving Him our best. I mean our absolute best?

So many times in the last few months I have been absolutely humbled by the overwhelming realization of who Jesus is and what He did for me. The absolute brutality of the cross — the suffering in body, in soul, and in spirit. Jesus took on the sin of every man, woman, and child as they pierced His flesh and hung Him on a tree. He felt the hatred of men towards Him as they cried out “crucify Him! Crucify Him!”. In the spirit, He felt the judgement and wrath of a holy and righteous God, poured out upon Him because He took all of our sin as the sacrificial Lamb of God. A wrath and hatred for all things evil, all sin, all the awful things that you and I and every human being from Adam until Jesus comes again — that burning anger was poured out on Jesus who took that on Himself because He loved us, He loved me, enough to suffer that in order to bridge the divide that sin created between God and man. And the really amazing thing is that I know that if there were only one person on the planet, He would have done the same thing anyways.

Humbled yet? I know I am. I keep thinking about Isaiah and the vision he had of God sitting in heaven:

“And one cried to another and said: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!’ And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: ‘Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.’” (Isaiah 6:3-5, NKJV)

This is how I feel! I am a man of unclean lips! What I felt yesterday was that God is so worthy of our best and we’re giving Him leftovers. God demands the best of all we are, and we’re giving Him scraps fit for dogs! God forgive us — compared to what God has given us, we’re giving Him so very little of what we can, and should, offer Him! I am giving Him less than He deserves, so much less than what He deserves but God knows I am desperately trying to give Him more. Lord, take me, use me, help me to live a life of no compromise.. to be a living sacrifice, to be a witness and example of Your love and Your life in me!

If God is our King, and He is our Lord, then we need to start treating Him like it! We need to give Him the best of our attention — when we’re in church we should be there to adore Him, eager to consume the bread of His word for the Life it is! We should be taking notes, following along in our Bibles, lifting our hands and our feet and singing our hearts out! Not holding back, not texting on our phones, not leaving our Bible at home because we can’t be bothered to take it with us.

We need to give Him the best of our time — if the church God has placed us in has more than just Sunday-morning service, we need to go! This wasn’t an easy thing for me because I like my “down time”, but I’ve since realized that with God, He is my down time! Today work was getting crazy and busy and overwhelming and I was getting frustrated and tired. Then I felt such an impression to worship that I just turned up the worship songs, stood up, and lifted my hands before my God and worshipped Him as hard as I could for 15 minutes. It was brief, but it was powerful! And after tha,t there was peace, relaxation, an energy that I didn’t have before (I honestly felt like I had just woken up, refreshed, and having just downed an espresso or two!). What an amazing thing God gives us when we turn to Him! I could have easily gone and had a coffee, grumbled, muttered, whatever… but nothing would have given me the peace and vitality that just worshipping my Lord and Saviour gave me. Thank You, Lord, for that! But there is a very real key here: God honors the time we give Him. I have experienced this over and over again. Give God time and He will give you back whatever you sacrificed for Him. Did you give up sleep? The sleep you do get will be sounder, better, and you’ll wake even more refreshed. Did you give Him time that belonged to family or work? You’ll get that “time” back in increased productivity, a deeper quality to your family life (honestly though, your family should be in church with you! That is family time!).

(I need to quickly qualify the family time because there is a point of extremes. Yes, you should be in church as much as you can, and your family with you. But if you’re running around all the time, going to this church or that, or to that event, and not taking some time with your family, then you need to rethink what you’re doing. Good family time is so important, and we think it’s all rush rush rush, going here or there, when we need to take time to grow in our family units. That isn’t to say family time is sitting in front of the TV; if that’s your idea of family time you might as well be in church. I mean good engaging family time: playing board games, reading stories or the Bible, spending time talking and, more importantly, teaching your children about God is absolutely vital to maintaining a good strong family unit. As well, praying together, as a family, is more vital than you can imagine!)

So instead of skipping church to “minister” to a friend, you need to go to church (with or without them) — that will minister to them even more. They’ll know where your priorities are! Instead of spending time watching TV or playing video games, we should be spending our time at church or in His Word, or praying, or worshipping Him. I’m not saying don’t watch TV or play games or enjoy recreation, but what I’m saying is that the best of your time should be given to God and after you have honored Him and been obedient, then watch TV or whatever. Make all of that secondary, because God should be primary!

We need to give Him the best of our money — tithes and offerings. This is something God demands from us. 10% belongs to Him. We need to be faithful here; I believe it so deeply because I’ve experienced it. Tithing is so critical to receiving the full blessing of God. Offerings and alms are like lending money to God and He pays back with interest! But most importantly, because He asks us, we should do it. He’s worthy, right? Right!

We need to give Him the best of our talent — we need to be using our gifts and talents and skills for the increase of God’s kingdom! Whether this is serving in the church, whether this is ministering to people on the streets — whatever it is that God called you to do we should be doing it cheerfully and without grumbling. At our work, at our church, at our homes… everything we do should be done as if we were doing it for God. He deserves the best we have, and that includes the best work ethic! People should be scrambling to hire Christians, not wanting to get rid of them because we’re no different than the world in our work ethic! We need to be working hard because God gave us talents to improve and increase, and because He gives us the strength we need if we ask Him. We’ve got a huge advantage over worldly workers if we would only see it!

We need to give Him the best of our adoration — God deserves it. In heaven we will be crying out “worthy, worthy, worthy” for all eternity, so we might as well start practicing it now! We need to give God our reverence, we need to worship and pour out our love on Him because He is so very much worth it! We need to bless Him, crave His Presence, do whatever He asks of us because we love Him so much, because of what He has done for us and just because He loves us! He is called our heavenly Father for a reason! Now, I know that’s hard for those of us who don’t have fathers that pour out affection on us or make time for us, but realize that our Father is not like our earthly fathers. I mean, I love my daughter… I love her a lot. I would spend all of my time with her if I could. She’s beautiful, she’s smart, she’s kind, she’s generous, she has everything that makes her attractive to be around. I love her with all my heart. And yet, my love for her pales in comparison to God’s love for her. Jesus died for her too! God loves her with such an abundant love that I couldn’t even know it to describe it.

But what is amazing to me is that she loves me without question, without reservation. My daughter loves me to the point where it makes my heart ache because I am the recipient of that love. And I think God designed the family unit in this way so that we as parents can actually feel how God feels when kids love their parents unconditionally. And so that we as parents can feel how He feels when our kids misbehave or are not obedient, because that’s what we do to Him.

I also think that the way we feel pride in our kids when they excel and put their heart into something and give something their all (a test, a sport, whatever) is similar to the pride God feels in us when we give our tasks our best. And similarly, how we feel when our kids don’t try, lack ambition to succeed, when they’re not listening to us, when they don’t talk to us, when they don’t want to hang out with us… that disappointment we feel is small compared to the disappointment God feels when His children (us!) don’t listen (obey), don’t want to talk (pray), don’t want to hang out (go to church), don’t want to try, don’t want to persevere, don’t want to care, and so on.

The bottom line is that if we profess to love God, we need to bear witness to that. God sees the heart, He is not fooled by our silly justifications. He isn’t fooled when we want to watch a talk show rather than read His Word and justify it by saying we’ll do it later. You can’t trick God by saying that you’ll skip a service because you got to that really good part in a game, or a book, or you’re having a good time with friends, or the big game is on TV. God sees all, and He sees where our priorities lie by how we act, what we say, and what we do.

The Old Testament is full of examples of the sacrifices and offerings God ordained for His people. They were commanded to give the best of their flock, the best of their crops, the first fruits. I think that we’ve forgotten this, or haven’t read our Bibles enough to know it. We were bought with the most awful price, our lives are no longer our own. Yes, we are slaves to Christ because of the currency He used to pay for our redemption, His own blood. We can’t possibly pay Him back for what He gave us, but the very least we can do is live our lives obedient to His Word and express our love for Him in the most obvious way possible — by giving Him our absolute best, because He is worthy, worthy, worthy!

“And one cried to another and said: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!’” (Isaiah 6:3, NKJV)

The whole earth is full of His glory. Who is in the earth? We are. So I think there is a call for us to be glorious before God, so we can fill the earth with His glory.

But how do we “fill the earth with His glory”? How do we become glorious before God?

I believe we display the glory of the Lord by leading lives of holiness and righteousness. Lives without compromise. I believe that God makes us glorious as we humble ourselves, and as we submit to Him, leading lives that are wholly holy (the dictionary defines wholly as “entirely” and “fully”), and righteous (right-living) before God.

I believe that if we are 100% wholly sold out to Jesus Christ — uncompromised, unapologetic (to the world), complete and utter love slaves to our Saviour and Redeemer, that we glorify God with our lives. I’m not saying we become glorified — we don’t. To say that we are glorious is to tread dangerous New Age thinking. No, we are not glorified. The whole earth isn’t full of our glory, but we were called to fill the earth (“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28, NKJV)), and we need to start filling it with His glory. I believe we were called to more than just dominion over the fish and animals — we were called to fill the earth with His glory! We become vessels of honour as we are filled with the Holy Spirit and live righteous, holy, pleasing lives before Him.

The dictionary defines glory as: high renown, or honour won by notable achievements; praise, worship and thanksgiving offered to God. Magnificence, great beauty. A thing that is beautiful or distinctive; a special cause for pride, respect, or delight.

We obtain honor from God as we lead lives that are right before Him. This means knowing His will, and being obedient to it. I like how the dictionary also defines glory as “praise, worship and thanksgiving offered to God“. That means that our praises, our worship, and our thanksgiving to God is His glory!

This is a call to praise and worship, a call to holiness and righteousness! A call to become sold-out in our relationship with Jesus Christ!

I always look for my “two witnesses” and here it is:

“And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen.” (Psalm 72:19, NKJV)

If there was ever any doubt that we were set on this earth to praise, worship, and adore our King of Kings, let that doubt be put to rest. The call has echoed for thousands of years, and I believe revival is coming — true revival, where people repent of their sins and become holy and righteous, uncompromising and unapologetic for their faith and hope in Jesus Christ!

The last five months have been… interesting, exciting, wild, stretching, and growing. God has been moving in amazing ways and I believe it all turned around because we were obedient to Him and did what He asked of my wife and I. This is a bit of a long story, but to give some background, my wife and I had gone through presbytery four years ago and had an amazing and somewhat frightening/exciting Word spoken over us. For those that don’t know what presbytery is, it’s when you fast and pray and seek God and have prophets speak God’s Word over you. For some, it provides life direction, for some it gives insight into the future that God has planned for you, for some it’s just plain old encouragement. If you’ve never been to a prophetic meeting like this, it really is something to behold. The Holy Spirit moves in ways that can’t even be described. Re-reading the word spoken over us still brings tears to my eyes and chills down my spine.

Without getting into it overly much (because there is a lot), the main thrust of the word was that we were going to be deeply rooted in the House of God, and that we would be involved with people. We would have a heart of evangelism, and a hunger in our spirit to see God’s Will done in the earth. That we would go up against the enemy and not be afraid and, just as importantly, have a God-given power over the enemy. That our home would be open, that we would get involved in discipleship and mentoring and getting involved in people’s lives. That we would have a spirit of outreach.

These are beautiful things to hear, but for someone who doesn’t really like people, this wasn’t really what I wanted to hear. I’m not really a people person, and I’m also very cynical and critical of people; part of that has to do with my personality, and part of that is due to my job and its lack of social interactions. My passion for God was most definitely there, but my passion for people was… pretty lacking. My wife is the complete opposite. She loves people, but being told we would be coming up against dark kingdoms really concerned her. I’ve had a past that dealt with spiritual warfare, so I can’t say I was comfortable with it, but it wasn’t scary because I know how powerful God can be in those situations.

So for four years this prophetic word has been remembered and forgotten, ignored and cried out for… but all things are in His timing. And just before last Christmas, He brought us to a whole new level of faith, passion, worship… and looking back now, we can pin-point to exactly when He started unfolding His plan for us.

It began with our nephew, who was 18 and leading a life not at all pleasing to God. He was not living at home, and he was involved with a girl that we had been told was being abused at home (she was 17). We had them over for dinner and were trying to help them, encourage them, and speak to them; he was looking for work and was going to get an apartment so he could take care of her and get her out of her (abusive) home. I had such a strong feeling that we needed to bring her into our house, but I didn’t say anything about it. I told God that if this was from Him, it needed to come from my wife. Well, a few weeks later we were talking about the kids and what was going on, and she brought up the idea of her staying with us, and then I told her what I had been feeling. And she talked to her mother, and she also said that she was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to suggest it since it wasn’t her place.

After that we extended the invitation. Keep in mind that at this point we hardly knew the girl and had no idea what we were getting into. We only knew that God wanted us to do this, and we prayed and sought His Will and everything we prayed that would tell us this was from Him came to pass. This was going to be a major disruption to our small family unit, but we wanted to be obedient. As the date was fast approaching, talking with my nephew, we knew there was some serious spiritual baggage here as well. She was adopted at a young age (four or five) and was given up by a mother who was into witchcraft and paganism. She saw her birth mother occasionally and received crystals and other new age items from her. And a witch’s spellbook.

At this point, I started praying overtime because I did NOT want that in my home. However God wanted to ensure it didn’t get into my home, I was praying that it would stay out. At the same time I confessed that the book had no power in my home, so if it did make it in there, it would be dead words with no power. At the same time, I wasn’t supposed to know about this book, so I didn’t want to call her out on it. I had to trust that God would do what was right for our family.

After about a week we were talking about Christianity and alternate religions and she mentioned that she had a spellbook, and this was where I tensed. But, praise God, she said she had left it at her parents’ place because she didn’t feel it would be appropriate to bring it here (she very much knew we were Christian). Hallelujah!

We were prepared to have her as part of our family for a long time to come. We didn’t have overly strict rules, but having a young daughter — there were things we just could not permit. Sadly, the living situation only lasted for a month, at which point we had to ask her to leave due to certain behaviours and the poor choices she was making. At that point I can’t say she was better or worse for having lived with us, but I believe we were planting seeds and speaking into her life, and we still pray for her and talk to her; she’s not out of our life entirely. But for the sake of our daughter, she couldn’t stay with us. Now, I know God uses these things and can bring it to remembrance in the future for her benefit. We planted seeds, and the Holy Spirit will water them in His timing. I also believe that He was testing us, to see if we were ready to walk out in what He planned for us. Did we pass the test? I don’t know, but He is unveiling things in us, and changing us, and stretching us in ways we cannot imagine.

If you told me a year ago that I, in particular, would have a heart for people, I would have said you were nuts. I don’t like people, and I don’t like talking to people. But now my home has become a whirlwind of activity, of visits from people. I’ve reconnected with a friend I grew up with, watching his baptism, seen how God has changed his life and set him on fire for God. We now see each other every week for bible study; sometimes two or three times a week. I believe God brought him to us to set US on fire, like he is, and that we were brought to him to make him accountable to someone, and to be strength for him and his family. God is blooming a relationship there in a huge way, and I’m so grateful for it.

I’ve run into a friend from 16 years or so ago whom if you told me he would be going to any church, let alone my church, I would have said you were cracked. Sadly, he has some odd ideas that are not biblical, so I don’t know if I’m here for correction and mentoring as well, or just to pray for truth and sight for him. Time, and God, will tell. But he’s another person back in our life.

There are other people in dire circumstances that are reaching out to US for prayer. We’ve known these people for years and yes, we’ve talked to them and we like and enjoy spending time with them, but I’ve never seen myself as a witness or example for them, or someone I would think that THEY thought they could talk to! Relationships are building there as well and just today I felt led to fast and pray for their circumstances, pleading before God to do a mighty work in their lives.

My sister-in-law and her boyfriend, whom we’ve been praying for years to get to church, have started coming to church. Praise God! Relationship there has been strained for a few years and by the Grace of God it is rebuilding as well and I just pray that the Word sinks in and brings life and conviction and a personal relationship with Jesus.

I took my daughter to the young adults worship service last night. She’s far from being a young adult, but my little girl was praising with her hands high and on bended knee, kneeling before her King. Praise God, it was a sight to bring tears to my eyes! So now I’ve been told (by her) that we’re going every Monday night! I can’t even describe how awesome that is.

My prayer life has gotten deeper, more intense. I am a watchman on the wall. I am standing in the gap for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I bought a whiteboard the other day that is our prayer board and already there are over two dozen names and circumstances on there that will be prayed for daily until there is breakthrough.

Would all of this have come to pass if we hadn’t been obedient to God five months ago and brought this girl into our home for a month? I don’t know, but I don’t believe it would. I think you need to prove to God that you are ready to be responsible with what He wants to give you. If God purposes for you to have an abundance of finances, but you squander what you have on foolish things, well guess what? He won’t give you what He wants to because you are irresponsible with it. Read the parable of the Talents (Matt 25:14-30). You have to prove to God you are ready.

My wife and I always dreamed about having a big home and how we would have people over and have youth group things and whatnot there. How we would be all evangelistic if God blessed us with a large home. Well guess what? God would never give it to us since we weren’t using the home we currently had for His work and His honor and His glory! We could sit there and say “if” until the cows came home, but if we weren’t prepared and willing to use our home now, as modest as it is, for His work, no way were we going to get something better!

I love this quote… I have no idea who wrote it, but:

“If not me, who? If not now, when?”

Well guess what. It is US and it is TODAY! There is such an urgency and a burden in me now to do God’s “thing” (whatever it is!) that I’m taking that leap of faith and letting Him put or pull me wherever He wants me. That is what birthed this site. That is what is birthing vision for great things of what God wants to do in me, and my family, and those around me.

Being obedient WILL change your life. I’ve traded what was unimportant for what is of the utmost importance. So I don’t watch as much TV. So I don’t play video games as much. So I don’t spend as much time doing recreational things. So what! None of that lasts. TV and video games and other recreation is all stuff for the moment… it doesn’t last. It’s not making me a better person. It’s not serving anything or anyone but me, in the “now”. What God is steering us towards is everlasting and of immense consequence. And I know this is just the start of it.

Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done!

I just love what God is doing and how He’s turned my life from being a person willing to give only “so much” and only to certain people, into someone who is shouldering burdens for anyone who asks. And I love seeing this prophetic word start to unfold and if I look at it, I know there is so much more to come. All I have to do to experience it is to humble myself and be obedient, and this is something that my wife and I are sold-out to do.

“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15b, NKJV)

Amen!!

This is the testimony of how God moved in my life. I was raised in a Christian home. My family and I lived in a trailer park just outside of a big city. We were very poor, but we all loved God and attended church regularly. I was never really liked as a child. Friends were hard to come by, but I didn’t mind too much. We moved into the city into a nice house when I was 13. I attended a new school, where again no one liked me very much. My sister, who was almost 20, left for a program called the Masters Commision in British Columbia. She decided to stay and live there because she felt there was nothing for her where we lived. As I continued to go to youth groups at my church, I found friends there. We were a bit of the “black sheep” type of people, having strange clothing and funny color harido’s, but we liked each other.

When I was a bit into my 14th year, my grandfather died and then my life-long friend who was only 15 overdosed on drugs. It impacted my church friends and I greatly. We stopped hanging out, and went our seperate ways. I slowly stopped going to church and found myself friendless again. I wanted people to like me so bad. So in grade 9 I finally figured out how. I started to say yes to things, and I started to become what others wanted. I’d go to the parties and smoke some weed and drink with them. At school I’d make fun of people, and I began to smoke cigerettes. My life went down hill after this.

I entered high school ready to party. When I was in grade 11, I was introduced to cocaine and crystal meth. I had never done anything like it before. Because cocaine was so expensive and people dont like meth heads, I decided to do ecstasy instead, which is a combination of all drugs in one. Within a year and a bit I had swallowed over 500 pills and had done other numerous amounts of drugs along with it. Life was a blur, and questions were begining to present themselves. Questions like whats next? Why am I here? Is there more? I still belived in God but didn’t want to walk in His ways. At the end of grade 12, I “fell in love” with a woman 5 years older than me. She was smart, sucessful and drug free. I thought this was the answer. So We moved in together and stayed together for two years. I continued smoking pot and drinking alcohol. I realized a year in that life was still not fufilling and I was not happy. I began to drink a lot and my girlfriend and I began to fight more and more, and the fights all the while becoming more and more violent. I needed a change, so I did. I left her and broke her heart, for I had promised to marry her. The next year and a half consisted of numerous women, drugs binges and forgotten nights at the bar.

I was up late one night smoking a joint in the midst of all this, and I started talking to God asking what I was to do, why I felt that destiny was on my shoulders but It wasn’t presenting itself. He answered with the word “patience”. This did not make me happy. I moved from my dad’s house and lived with some friends. Party animal was my title, and I lived up to it. My life consisted of either being completely stoned, or getting drunk and chasing people down the street with machetes. I finally met up with a girl from high school that I had been infatuated with then, and she still held my heart (although she had no clue). I had finally found my answer — until three dates later when she decided to be with another guy. My cries to the Lord became great, and I confessed that it was in His Hands, and that I didn’t know how to fix everything. I rememeber waking up and lighting up a cigarette and looking around my dull ghetto room. The Lord spoke the words I was patiently awaiting for two years: “Its time to go.”

I immediately smiled and picked up the phone to call my sister. “I’m coming to BC, to go to the Master’s Commision” I said. She began to cry. Her prayers had been answered. I left nine months ago, and am still enrolled in the Master’s Commision. Life has never been more satisfying. I can be myself and still be loved. I have not felt this happy since I was a small child. I can truly say Christ is the answer. The love, fufillment, and acceptance I feel is greater than any drug I’ve ever taken. I don’t worry about the future anymore because I’m living it. The freedom I feel can only be described as “real”.

Society lied to me for years about who I was and what I needed, and now I have found my identity. I would like to end with a word of encouragement: If you know someone like me who is doing drastically wrong and seems impossible, we serve a God who is extremely great and can do anything. So don’t stop praying for them, never stop. I dread to think of what would have happened had my sister stopped praying. If you are like me and are looking for answers and you’re stuck in the oblivion of lies that the world has engulfed us in: There is hope, you are not alone and the love and freedom you seek is with Christ who is King. The rules look scary from a distance, and the people seem stuck up and phoney. But society has twisted our perspective on true Christianity, Ned Flanders is a fraud (ha). The rules are there for good reason and make your life infinitely better, and the people are just like you and I, sinners looking for help, love, identity and freedom. It is truly an amazing life. I love you all and pray that God blesses you.

I was raised up in a Christian home with two loving parents and a younger sister. We lived in a large city for seven years and then moved to a small town just outside it. In the first few years I had a hard time trying to fit in. The kids that I went to school with treated me harshly. They would beat me up and make fun of me every day. Growing up, I lived in a constant fear of people. My self esteem was very low. I thought that I was different and no good. All the things my classmates said were becoming true in MY MIND. At age ten I remember being in my bedroom and crying franticly, pulling on my hair and holding a knife to my neck screaming that I wanted to die. My mother came in, and seeing me like this told me that she loved me and that all would be alright. The words and actions done to me affected me physically and emotionally and, later in life I found out, spiritually. Thankfully these kids that were so mean to me before had started to treat me with some kind of respect.

Now my life seemed to be going in a direction I liked. I had friends and I played in sports teams, all was well. I even started to have girls liking me, something that was fairly new to me. I was really enjoying these times until the unimaginable happened. My father had come home late one night and as I was trying to sleep, he came and gave me a kiss. I knew something was wrong so I pretended to sleep. When he went upstairs I heard him telling my mom that it was over and he was leaving her. I remember my mother screaming in utter terror as her whole life was being taken from her. She pleaded for my dad to not leave. But he left. I didn’t know how to take this so I built up a wall to protect myself AGAIN! My family and I now had to move back to the big city so that my mother could find work and make a life for us. My mom went first to welfare and got some help from them. Then she found a job during the day and went to school at night. As I write and remember what my mom did I can only thank God for giving my mom the strength to endure this while still trying to cope with the loss of her love. THANKS MOM!!!

As a kid I didn’t see things like this as I do now. I felt really abandoned and all alone. I thought that I was a man now because I had to fend for myself, since both parents were not able to be there for me when I wanted. As I started to look for friends, I found some not in school, but outside school. The outsiders, the hurt, and broken, just like me. This started my years of crime and drug abuse. With such a low self esteem and no real guidance, I was easily influenced into many of the things I chose to do. By fifteen years old I was already in prison. The first time in jail, I spent thirteen months in custody. Because it was such a long time when I got out I was worse than before. I didn’t know what to do except go back to ”MY BROS”. They welcomed me with opened arms. It was nice to be wanted. Positive or negative, I just wanted to be accepted and these friends did that in their own way. As my drug abuse escalated so did my issues around me.

I was getting kicked out of school, arrested and depressed. My first real encounter with suicide was when I was fifteen. I tried to hang myself and never succeeded. The only good thing about that day was that my father acknowledged me in a way that made me feel like I mattered. My father told me that I couldn’t die because I had to keep the family name going. I was so happy that I had a purpose, BUT like every other time in my life things just got worse. My drug abuse was at an all time high. I was using all kinds of drugs. No longer was it just weed and alcohol. I was using crack, acid and many others. During this whole time I had little or no contact with my father. With the high cost of drugs I had to start dealing. I met some people that sold crack and started to provide that to others.

The first day I was supposed to work as a dealer, I heard a voice inside of me say not to go. I knew that I shouldn’t, but I did anyways. Low and behold, the first customer was a cop. I got arrested and charged with trafficking crack. I also had an early charge of aggravated assault for a stabbing when I was drunk and got jumped. Now I was looking at a lot of time in jail. This was my first time in adult prison. It was crazy there. Guys were taking about killing each other, and I was trapped in this place. This is where I cried out to God for help. God did answer, but I didn’t respond back. I ended up getting two and a half years in a federal institution. In jail I really sought after God, but for selfish reasons. I wanted Him to protect me and get me out of there. I made plans when I got out that I was going to build my relationship with my father.

One day after I got out, I decided to go see my father. We had an awesome talk and he even asked if I wanted to help him build a shed. I was so excited. I finally was on a path of reconciling my relationship back with my father. I woke up the next day to find out that my father had killed himself. Now my whole life was thrown in a downward spiral. I wanted to give up on everything. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed was my father and now he was gone forever. So I attempted suicide many times, but by the grace of God I never died. On the night after my father’s funeral, my girlfriend, at the time, said that she was pregnant. I did not know if I was even going to be here much longer. My sister told me that God had given me a life for the one that was taken.

Those words launched me into an uphill battle but I didn’t know where to start. I ended up starting to smoke crack all the more once my daughter was born. I smoked crack to the point of living on the streets. I lost almost everything. During that time I had a new girlfriend and we had a son together. This all did not change my life. I just got worse. Here I was with two beautiful children and an incredible woman backing me up, and I was still living with the mindset of a thirteen year old boy who just lost his father. I tried many drug programs but never succeeded. Then my girl and my Pastor told me about Teen Challenge. I decided to go. From 2006 to 2009 I had attended Teen Challenge twice, and another Christ-centered program in another province. God has shown me so much about who I truly am, and has brought me from a little insecure child to a secure, powerful man of God.

He has healed me completely from my resentments and unforgiveness towards my father and has set me free from my addictions. Today I am married to my soul mate and we have three amazing children, and now the chains that bound my father and his family have been broken. The family name is going to keep on going, and the generations to come will serve the Lord wholeheartedly. My life is no longer filled with so much pain, but is now filled with testimonies of the great power of Jesus in me. I look back at all that I went through, and realized that what I went through was all for a reason, and that was to be a witness of the awesome power of Jesus in this world today, and also a comfort to those that are going through the same thing I did. When I was going through the death of my father I wrote a country song. The chorus went like this: all I ever needed, all I ever wanted, all ever needed was a father indeed. My Father in Heaven spoke to me one day as I sang that song and He said I AM YOUR FATHER AND ALL I EVER WANTED, ALL I EVER NEEDED WAS A SON LIKE YOU!!! The Father that I was searching for was always there for me, through all the things I went through, and I say this to all those that sense that longing for their Father: He is there and He will never leave you nor forsake you. You can count on Him because He is faithful, and as much as you desire Him, He desires you all the more. Thank you God for all you’ve done and all you’re going to do in my life and those around me. I love you Jesus, and give you ALL MY LIFE… not for anything in return, because I already have all that I want or need, and that is You!!! Love your son.

God bless you all, and my prayer for you is that Jesus’ sacrifice and LOVE would become more and more real too you!!!

Scriptures that God has spoken into my life are: 1 Corinthians 1: 26–31, 2 Corinthians 1: 3–7, 2 Corinthians 5: 11–21, and Galatians 2:20.

]]> http://jesusnotme.com/2010/03/all-i-ever-wanted-all-i-ever-needed-was-a-father-indeed/feed/ 1 http://jesusnotme.com/2010/02/testimony-from-canada/ http://jesusnotme.com/2010/02/testimony-from-canada/#comments Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:47:35 +0000 servant http://jesusnotme.com/?p=27

Before I became a Christian I had little faith in mankind and the future of this world. So much that I did not even want to bring kids into a world with such bleak prospects. I lived for weekends to relax and weekdays to make a living. I was in a rut, living without hope or real purpose. To put things in perspective, the early 1970′s were the years of “make love, not war”, hippies, drugs, parties. The world was going to hell in a hand-basket.

My conversion took place in 1974 while attending a Cal Hays crusade with a number of other people from our church. I became convinced by the Holy Spirit that Jesus could bring hope into my empty life. I went forward and received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.

I became involved in teaching adults about the Bible, served as elder and deacon, as teacher and Sunday school superintendent.

While I knew God, my relationship with Him was rather shallow. I was easily offended by wrong actions. I felt righteous when I should be forgiving and understanding.

When I was diagnosed with cancer and later heart problems, some Christian friends stuck with me, supporting me. I knew God was with me, yet I was no closer to Him.

Then, even as my health was improving, my life went into a rut and my marriage was falling apart. Yet God stayed faithful and had a wonderful plan. The last 2 years He has picked me up, showed me how much He loves me and brought me into a new and loving marriage.

Even after my conversion in 1974, God was not 100% part of my life. Now, with His help, He is. Faith, trust, love, guidance and obedience, all have a new meaning now. We decided that our marriage would be “before God.” That was not just for the wedding, that is for the rest of our lives.

I grew up very loved in a family of six. We went to a United church a little bit when I was young, but never really knew God or Jesus. When I got into my teenage years and went off to college I really didn’t believe in anything. I played around with tarot cards; I was in college for Technical Theatre and was surrounded with people who had New Age type ideas. Nothing really took hold of my heart when it came to believing in something.

I worried a lot about stuff (I don’t know how I didn’t get an ulcer). I meet my future husband and fell deeply in love and we married soon afterwards but I still would worry about work, bills, money….. you know the regular stuff that seems to keep people awake at night.

He was from a Christian home and wanted to go to church. Church! No way, I didn’t want to get out of bed for boring old church. He would not give up though. He kept asking his mom for different places he could take me.

Finally we walked through the doors of a non-denominational/evangelical/charismatic/pentecostal church. Instantly I knew there was something different about this place, I cried and the music was giving me the tingles (that is the best way I can describe it).

We went to an ALPHA class, so that I could learn about Jesus and how much He loves me. At the end of those classes we went out to a beautiful log cabin for a day retreat, and it was there that I was filled with the Holy Spirit and couldn’t stop smiling for days afterwards!

Since then my life has been a lovely journey learning about God and growing in my relationship with Him. We have a daughter who is a prayer warrior and is being raised in a home where she will go out and do God’s work, whatever that may be…..

We are so blessed, praise GOD!!